omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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