Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
