There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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