So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
