Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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