Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
