All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
