so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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