Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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