Plan B is the new Plan A
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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