Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
