i just google imaged poop.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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