Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
3 2 1 whiskey
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
