this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
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