you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I bet he comes in French.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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