Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
