New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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