a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
