My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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