If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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