I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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