White coat. Heels.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
