My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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