Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize