In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
