So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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