think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
