it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
