what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
