I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
