i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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