I cannot find my penis.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
