Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
