We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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