Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
