hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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