if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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