You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
