I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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