i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
