Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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