i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
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sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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