Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
