So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
