We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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