uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
