u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm passing your future prison.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
