yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
a search helicopter?!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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