don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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