He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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