he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
