I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
do herpes really smell.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
