Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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