Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize