HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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