And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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