it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
