yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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