I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
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Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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