i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
