If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
