I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
