I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
