I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
